Author Archives: Lindsay Hernandez

Personal Reflection by Lindsay Hernandez

Four months ago, I was convinced I was living in a two-gender-only world. My own personal experience was not enough to understand that this idea was not the entire truth. The truth was, there were other realities beyond the one I had always experienced. I was able to further understand this idea through my own self-awareness and of course the Intro to Women’s and Gender Studies class. When I first came across this class subject, I saw it as just an option but little did I know that it would become so much more. Honestly, I was hesitant at first. I had this one thought: what about gender would I learn that I don’t already know? But looking back at it now, that was very naïve of me to have said to myself. From there I first learned that there is always an opportunity to learn and room for growth and that would mean learning to understand better. This is exactly what I experienced with this Women’s and Gender Studies class.

While I did have a personal interest in learning more about gender studies by doing my own independent research, I was mainly focusing on the gender studies for men and the toxic masculinity society has implemented. However, I knew there were more subjects related to gender out there to explore. For instance, the idea that women and men face gender performing expectations because of society’s standard that pairs sex and gender. This is very true when it comes to women performing femininity and men with masculinity. While both expectations have raised a lot of issues in the years to come, women have successfully implemented feminist movements and actions to help fightback from the limiting society standards held for women. However we rarely ever mention the progressive actions we could take for men in their own community. This is why I chose to write about this specific subject in my blog post. Although this time it felt daunting. For starters, I didn’t want to appear to offend or insult anybody for their personal beliefs. It took some time to change the narrative of this thought. It finally overturned when I committed to believing my intentions to inform rather than to talk down an audience with this subject. Besides the fact that the blog post was an assignment, it felt very empowering to share information about something so important. The courageous part of it all had to be the idea that it would be a public post and not a typical essay only to be submitted and given one source of feedback. It was a great opportunity to have my classmates participate in my writing and vise versa. Also worth mentioning creating bonds with people who felt the same way about the issues at hand. It felt very reassuring and collaborative.

The feeling doubled when the group research projects began. The research project offered a lot of interesting topics to choose from, my group and I were fortunate enough to focus on the matters of reproductive rights. I mention fortunate because this topic never gets old, there is always something new to learn about the overall subject and what ideas can be brought into reproductive justice. In addition, there are other neighboring subjects with this topic including but not limited to; sex-positivity, gender, politics, and law. My group and I were able to have a mutual understanding of the hundreds of issues related to this subject and by doing so we were then able to unify our thoughts in an organized presentation. The only roadblock we faced as a group was figuring out who would discuss which specific angle of reproductive justice would we discuss.

Overall, this class has been a wonderful experience. From the readings, discussions, and the newfound knowledge. I had worries regarding what ideas would be difficult to accept. Especially since this has been my first semester back in college. It was a great way to start this new chapter of information. I had previously finished my associate degree back in 2018 and majored in marketing. While it was very insightful regarding business and the principles of capitalism, this time around, majoring in psychology and participating in this class has helped me in more ways than I ever expected. It opened a new part of life to understand. Gender truly is all around us. Gender is definitely a myth. And more importantly, while we can have opinions, it’s better to have an educated opinion. Therefore, thank you very much Professor Hashton for this opportunity to learn and grow.

For The Love of Men: A New Vision for Mindful Masculinity by Elizabeth Plank

When the world seems completely doomed, coming across glimpses of light provides a sense of relief and hopefulness. This is exactly what it felt like when I came across Liz Plank’s book: For the Love of Men, A New Vision for Mindful Masculinity.

When considering the old fashion two-gender norm, we have seen traces of toxic patriarchy influence both parties. However, Liz Plank mentions, “I’ve long focused on the numerous consequences of the patriarchy for women because there’s no shortage of them.” And while there is no shortage of the conversations we have about the patriarchy harming women, we rarely discuss how it has affected the men from within.

For years, there have been countless hills women have encountered at the expense of the patriarchy. Even during some of the most insurmountable battles, women miraculously triumphed over them and continue to do so today. Women have shown a great deal of strength to fight off the relentless effects of the patriarchy by initiating conversations, movements, and reform.

In Plank’s words, “take a moment to put a gender lens on men … although the news often focuses on the threats of terrorism, natural disasters, and nuclear war, there is no greater threat to humankind than our current definitions of masculinity.” On the surface, masculinity may seem like a regular component found within men’s genetic foundation. The common knowledge we possess is that men produce more testosterone, thus being more masculine compared to their female counterparts. But how do we define masculinity beyond biology? An even greater question is how have we been enforcing it? 

Today, masculinity reeks of ego, power struggles, and entitlement; or what Twitter refers to it as, “big dick energy”. These three traits collectively intertwine to fuel and promote global toxic masculinity. It is an unfortunate reality that starts at a young age. “It presents itself in subtle ways, such as the way we raise boys differently from girls. It starts when we equate emotion with weakness and direct boys to display strength no matter what.” Some ideologies we have imposed for boys to follow are to not cry, suppress feelings, and dominate. This becomes dangerous because, “… when half the population gets trained to block emotions, they lose the ability for compassion.” Not being allowed to have compassion narrows healthy emotional freedom, while at the same time giving no other choice than to behave aggressively thus; prompting multi-faceted violence. Our society has constructed this behavioral and  performance manual for boys to follow well into manhood. We encourage it through many ways starting with the well known phrase “boys will be boys”.

We imply the acceptance of a boy’s aggressive behaviors by never checking them. We have accepted their behavior to be normal because we assume a male’s natural way of being rests on masculinity. We then turn a blind eye to the fact that men continue to have the unfortunate burden to prove their masculinity on a daily basis. And then, we act surprised when men go on mass shootings or create organized crime or partake in terrorist groups. Overall men have been deprived of emotional expression, constantly pressured into proving their masculinity, while at the same time surrounded by emasculating narratives. As Plank mentions, “when idealized masculinity scripts go unchallenged, emasculation doesn’t just become a tool of the state against foreign enemies, it can become a weapon the state uses against its own people.” The faulty definitions of masculinity have been the driving force to keep susceptible men in line with their aggressive behavior to permit violent actions, causing inevitable long term consequences.

Masculinity can exist but overlooking toxic masculinity cannot be allowed anymore. Toxic masculinity has become an insidious radical ideology that has claimed many men and counting. It is time for the world to take a good look at how dangerous toxic masculinity has become and accept that we can no longer allow it to continue. Plank states, “we do not know enough about what a world without toxic notions of masculinity could look like to be pessimistic about it.” We are fortunate enough to see changes in our world regarding gender identity go beyond the constricts of the binary norm. We have also seen women reshape the lifestyles they were once limited to, it is now time to welcome a new age for men as well. 

The concept of behavior equaling gender identity has proven itself to be immensely harmful. It is a firm tactic that is structured and maintained by the same people who benefit from it. As mentioned by Plank, “the conversation we need to have about men is not distinct or separate from the one we’ve had and will continue to have about women. In fact the gendered expectations holding girls back are born out of the same system that creates limitations for boys.” We can no longer tolerate structured limits on each other through any means. We can start by having mindful conversations around these concepts, prioritize emotional intelligence, and promote the idea of a “good man” while abolishing the ideas of what it means to be a “real man”.

Planks’ book challenges the way we have been perceiving masculinity and how we can keep an open mind about the way it’s been dominating our world. Women have been amazing at fighting back the toxic masculinity found within the patriarchy because they were strong enough to highlight their pain. But have we ever thought to think how the patriarchy could be harmful to its own members? After all—hurt people, hurt people.

A huge thank you goes out to women, including Liz Plank, for their endless advocacy and humane efforts to encourage a better world to live in. However, it is important that we do not forget about our male counterparts. Let’s provide a helping hand through mindful conversations created in safe spaces for men to break away from societal constructs. It is a social responsibility we are very familiar with so its only fair we show them how its done!

For The Love of Men

When the world seems completely doomed, coming across glimpses of light provides the ultimate relief of hopefulness. Which is exactly what Liz Plank provides with her book: For the Love of Men, A New Vision for Mindful Masculinity. 

When considering the old fashion two gender norm, we have seen traces of toxic patriarchy influence both parties. “I’ve long focused on the numerous consequences of the patriarchy for women, because there’s no shortage of them.” (Pg 7)

There are countless of hills women face at the expense of the patriarchy to continue to thrive. However, miraculously, women have shown up to defend and represent what they are capable of. Even in the face of insurmountable battles, women come out in the end to uplift their community and the next generation. 

Now, in Planks words “take a moment to put a gender lens on men”, “although the news often focuses on the threats of terrorism, natural disasters, and nuclear war, there is no greater threat to humankind than our current definitions of masculinity.” In short, masculinity reeks of ego, power struggles and entitlement. Or what Twitter would like to call it “big dick energy”.

These three traits are intertwined to fuel global toxic masculinity. It is an unfortunate reality that starts at a young age for boys. “It presents intself in subtle ways, such as the way we raise boys differently from girls. It starts when we equate emotion with weakness and direct boys to display strength no matter what.” Meanwhile, young girls are openly encouraged to express their emotions. Being able to comfortably express ones emotion is not a bad thing at all. However it does become problematic when we don’t allow or encourage young boys to be vulnerable.

Plank also mentions the childhood behavior developments between young boys and girls with video games and Barbie dolls. While we spend a fair share of time discussing the harmful body expectations of young girls through dolls, we hardly ever pause to realize what first person shooter games could do for a young boys development. These behavior structures are implemented at such a young and impressionable age that ultimately create a bar for boys to live by. Ideologies for boys are to; not cry, supress feelings, and dominate. 

“When half the population gets trained to block emotions, they lose the ability for compassion.” Which snowballs into bigger issues overtime, most notably, multi-faceted violence (e.g. personal harm, domestic violence, neglectful behaviors or harmful actions on to others) Then we excuse any terrible thing done by boys with the term– boys will boys. So not only is there a supply of directions for young men to follow but there are excuses we apply for them to continue this lifestyle.

This concept of behavior equaling gender identity is toxic and a firm structure that maintains it’s shape by the same people who benefit from it. Planks book challenges the way we have been percieving masculinity and how we can keep an open mind about the way its been dominating our world. We have seen many humane victories by women for women, I believe it is time that we as women share a helping hand with men to encourage them to challenge this system that was enforced upon them. Much like the ones that their previous generations have inflicted onto our ancestors.