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Personal Reflection

This isn’t my first time taking Intro to Women’s Studies.  Once upon a time, before Covid-19, I took this class in person. But I withdrew from all my classes halfway through the semester because I was struggling with my mental health. And thanks to this class I took way back then, my professor at the time pointed me to the resources that jump-started me on my journey. This class is more than learning about history through the lens of women and LGBT+ people, but it’s a place to be seen and heard. I’ve always been interested in learning about women’s rights and LGBT+ history but never had the time or space for it. With the election of the 45th president, it was clear to see that these issues aren’t some out-of-reach smudge on our history that lives in the past but its part of the history we make today.


I’ve heard of the name Angela Davis in presentations students would make about African-American writers for Black History month and be curious about her work. But I never had the time to read it for myself because I always focused on my school work more than my personal interest. So aside from the fact that this class is one of my personal interests but I also had the pleasure of reading Angela Davis for the first time. My heart fluttered when I saw her on the syllabus and I was more than happy to order her book for next day delivery. Not only did I enjoy reading her work, but I also used it in some of my other classes this semester. 


Being a part of this class wasn’t without its challenges. Sitting in front of a computer at the end of the day for three hours was intimidating and challenging for me. I would’ve loved this class to be twice a week instead of once a week. If it was twice a week, each class would be shorter which for me would be more manageable. And also I would’ve seen the people in this class twice a week instead of once.


Everyone’s presentations were amazing. My fellow students showed some real talent with their projects. The thing about group projects is that they usually turn out so awkward and it’s clear to see who did all the work and who didn’t. But all these projects were gorgeous. Each one was visually pleasing and very informative. Everyone cared so deeply about what they were talking about and it showed even though we couldn’t see their faces. I would sit on my bed looking at the slides and the pictures and colors. My favorite part was that they clearly practiced giving their presentation and if they didn’t then that’s even more impressive. I could never be as articulate as they were off the top of my head with no practice. I, unfortunately, wasn’t a part of any group project but that’s okay. I struggle with deadlines and groups in general. To feel the weight of other people relying on you to do your part is a lot for me at the moment. 


But the most important point about this class for me was the causal engagement. As I said before the idea of a three-hour class at the end of the day was so intimidating, most of the time I didn’t want to go. But I never regretted going after the class ended. We all cared about each other and made the class personal. Because these issues that we’re learning about are personal, they’re personal to us. They’re not theories in a textbook or stories from the past but in some way, they applied to our lives. And by making it personal we were also learning from each other.


This class has been amazing and I’ve learned more outside the lessons than inside them. The information was great but the idea of a group of women coming together at the end of the day to encourage each other and lift each other up while collectively raising our awareness of women’s rights, that’s priceless. There will never be another class like this one. I hope everyone had an amazing semester as I did. Challenges and all.

Course Reflection

Oluwatobi Oshodi

WGST 1001

Professor Ashton

December 20 2021

Personal Reflection 

To begin with, I took this class to fulfill a requirement. However, after a few meetings I began to love the energy and connection this class came with. As a senior in Brooklyn College, I’ve had many professors but Professor Ashton stands out. Apart from being a professor she took the time to get to know her students, did multiple check ups and found a way to make the class engaging. Coming into the class, I felt like the class would be just readings and essays. Although there was a lot of reading, Professor Ashton made the whole class seem like it wasn’t a class. Although she’s grading us, Professor Ashton allowed us to have a voice in our grades.I learned quite a lot in this class. It made me think deeper about certain things and not just look at things lightly. Although I hate speaking in public or in class, speaking in this class seemed normal. I felt comfortable enough to voice out my opinion whether it made sense or not. 

For my blog post, I did research on bleaching. As a young Nigerian lady, I see bleaching a lot in my community. When I see those who do it, I used to look down on them for not loving themselves enough. However, because of this class I dug deeper and saw the reasons. This class allowed me to see the root of bleaching and why people did not. After the things I discovered I realized that the blame on bleaching is not on those who do it but society and the company who creates bleaching cream. Before working on my paper, this class allowed me to sit down and think about things that are affecting the society I live in. Bleaching has become a nationwide thing for women and men nowadays. 

When working on the group project, it took a lot of patience. This is because people have different ideas, different ways of doing things. One of the good things about the project was that Professor Ashton was literally always there. She was there for us to reach out to, seek advice and motivate us. For the group project, my group worked on high heels. We were quick to pick different subtopics to talk about within the topic without engaging in other group members’ ideas. Being in a group is not always smooth, however my group found a way to deliver. I decided to talk about the origin of high heels because I found it fascinating. I love wearing heels although it hurts after a few hours, it still makes me feel empowered and strong. Through research I got to know that it was actually men who created and wore heels before women got it. I found it particularly interesting that when women started wearing heels that’s when people negatively perceived it and felt like it was too much. However, when men like King Louis XIV wore heels, it was magnificent and powerful. People loved when those with power wore heels because it represented wealth and power. However when heels became a women thing, it was seen as out of style, dramatic and too feminine. This only emphasized how women are not seen as strong as men. It is clear that in society, women and men are not seen as equals. 

From other classmates’ blog posts, I was able to learn quite a few things too. Each person spoke on different things going on around the community, whether people know about it or not. In this class, I loved how many classmates felt comfortable and engaged with each other. I’ll like to take this opportunity to call out Mildred who helped me throughout this semester for this class. Sometimes when I’m confused about certain things and reach out to her, she is always there to help. This class allowed some of us to form bonds. I really enjoyed this class. There are certain things that have been said in this class that I will continue to take with me everywhere. Finally I would like to thank Professor Ashton, for not only being a wonderful professor, but also someone a student can reach out to. Thank you for being understanding and genuinely caring about your students. I am super glad that I took this class. It did not feel like a class, however I still learned a lot. It made me realize some things about myself. This class also made me change my perspective on certain things around me, making me more open minded.

Sabrina Vahobova-Personal Reflection

Intro. to Women’s Studies was an interesting course to take this semester and really opened up a new world of learning for me. Prior to taking this course I wasn’t very much invested in the topics that we discussed in the class like gender myths and theories or feminism early on. Although I consider myself to be a woman, I was never one to have strong opinions based on the identities of women. I learned to continue unraveling myself from the things I have been taught, the typical cultural expectations of a woman being a wife and mother and doing things like taking care of the home. 

It was such a coincidence to see The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan once more, as I had previously read it for my senior English class back at my high school. It was one of my favorite readings from that class and I held admiration for my teacher too. It was such a nostalgic moment for me which I found to be really nice. The Feminine Mystique, when I read it back then, was like a catalyst for me and changed the way I saw the cultural and traditional aspects that I have been taught by my parents.  

Being a part of this class really changed my outlook on that and made me want to be a part of something more than someone who is like a bystander. The research project made me feel accomplished in helping others be informed on abortion rights, which is something that has been on the news lately. Hopefully what we presented could have inspired others to be part of a bigger cause and really keep up with the news on the reproductive rights of women in the U.S. Thank you professor Ashton for this wonderful class, I thoroughly enjoyed the conversations we had during class and the work we did.

Syedah Fatima’s Personal Reflection

This class has been one of the most extraordinary classes that I have taken at Brooklyn college. When I first applied for this class, I wasn’t sure what to expect because I’ve never taken a course like this before. Going more into the course, I was intrigued by not just how much information I learned, but how friendly my classmates and professor was. There wasn’t a moment where I felt left out when asking questions or hearing stories that others have been through in which I could relate to. Aside from the interactions of the class, something I enjoyed the most were the readings. Readings like “Gender and Genitals: Constructs of Sex and Gender” and  “Performative Acts and Gender Constitution: An Essay in Phenomenology and Feminist Theory”. Before taking this class, I always wondered so much about what was going on in the world, specifically with classifying different gender/pronouns, LGBTQ, transgenders and so on. I knew what they were briefly, as most people do, but I realized there it was much more in depth about it than I was actually knowledgeable about. It’s funny, I actually decided to take this class in my last semester at Brooklyn college because of an experience that I had went through shortly in the summer. I went out with a few friends and one of my friends brought their friend who I was meeting for the first time. This friend referred as a they/them. When I heard this, I was kind of confused because of my lack and knowledge and they explained it to me more thoroughly. I was so intrigued and interested, and when I saw this course on the roster I took it to learn more about everything, in which I did. The public school education system avoids teaching topics of women which is truly a shame because they’re not providing us the knowledge of the upcoming of the world, which is why I took the opportunity in taking this course to gain that information and I have successfully have after completing this course. Before taking this class, I was aware of information like female lacking rights compared to men, housewife, oppression, historical topics and so on. But everything that I have learned in this class this semester, was so impressive compared to the pea sized knowledge that I had. Especially learning about different social media accounts (followed all), movies, and influencers really inspired me the most. Another part of the class that truly taught me a lot wasn’t just the topics, but learning how to write blog posts and do annotations. I’ve learned a lot with my personal writing and technology that I will carry on forever because of this course. I am extremely happy and appreciative for everything I’ve learned in this course.

Something that I’ve mentioned that I was extremely grateful for learning was the public writing. Before I took this course, there actually has never been a class in all of 4 years in undergrad where I had to do public writing/blog posts and annotations. Usually the way it went was we would  write a paper and just attach it to blackboard or email it to the professor. Learning how to write blog posts was a great experience because It gave me a safe space where to write how I felt about certain topics we learned about and also see how my fellow classmates felt about it as well.  In the beginning when writing the blog posts, It took me a while to understand how to post it and what to use but I got used to it very quickly. I was very passionate when writing my blog post, which was about housewife. I come from a culture where this still exists and I’m extremely opposed to it, but telling one of my relatives this would upset them very much because of their old  mentality and views. But this blog post, it gave me an opportunity to let my ideas free and write about what I want, including my views which gave me a comfort since I haven’t told anyone else about what I wrote before. Not only did it help me share my voice when writing freely, it gave me an opportunity to read others thoughts on certain topics. For example, when reading Linxin’s post on Gender Stereotypes and Influences, it truly inspired me and made me realize “wow I’m not the only one who goes through things like that”. Linxin mentioned being looked down upon for picking computer science as her major because she is a woman who loves to code. It was so relatable to read that because there have been many people who have told me that I shouldn’t do political science because it’s looked as something that more men are involved in and women should stay out of it. Regardless of all the comments, I ignored them and continued to look out for myself as woman and ignore the haters. Public writing in this class has given me an opportunity to share my ideas to whoever without being judged and because of this class, I created a personal blog in which I plan to write everyday on after finals are over.

Lastly, one part of the semester that I enjoyed a lot was the research project. I was a little nervous when I first heard about the research project because since we were remote, I didn’t know how it would pan out. That shortly changed when we began to have breakout room days with our group members and I met them and realized how grateful I was to have a group like that. Even though our topic being Women’s suffrage was a very broad topic, we communicated and organized everything so well with each other that it felt like so much fun when we were doing it. This one one of the most interesting research projects that I had to do. There was so much knowledge I learned from my classmates and from my own research. For example, I was pretty surprised when learning about the National Anti-Suffrage league and how many women were opposed to women being granted the votes in elections. It was actually shocking to learn that there’s women out there who didn’t want that right. I’ve never heard about this association before doing this research project. It was important for myself that I came across it because it really opened up my thoughts about how women in history relate to everything that is going on today. It gave me an opportunity to want to learn more about what’s going on with women in the world today and in the past. This project was extremely informative, fun, and eye-opening to me and I was glad to have great group members and a great professor to help my along the way.


Throughout this course, I learned a lot. One thing I learned in this class was about gender myths and gender performance. I would say I enjoyed this topic especially because this was the day, we all spoke about what we thought gender was. When everyone said what they thought it was and there wasn’t anyone saying, “you’re wrong”. It was a free space to say what you thought it was. From then on, I knew this class was a no judge free zone or a critique class. From the documentary we watched named “Pay it No Mind: The Life and Times of Marsha P. Johnson”, it taught me a lot about Marsha.  I learned that she started wearing dresses at 5 years old and it’s like I hear that people will tell me that children know young who they are. To hear it and see how it changed Marsha for the better was great to see. She is someone I admire because she knew who she was, and no one could tell her otherwise. She paved the way for others because from seeing this documentary, I knew she touched a lot of people’s hearts who weren’t comfortable showing their true self.

I enjoyed doing my blog posts in the class. It took me a while to know exactly what I wanted to write about, but I knew how I wanted to relate it back to what we’ve discussed in class. My experience with writing it was a challenging one for me. I decided to do my topic on “Self-Love” because women are learning daily how to become more in tune with themselves.  We, as women, are learning that we know what we want and what we deserve. I got my inspiration writing about it from social media because I would see women buy themselves flowers and think that just that alone, was them loving and treating themselves because they deserve it. I enjoyed us writing our own topic because there are honestly so many topics you can speak about when it comes to different subjects. I felt that writing about that and giving my personal experience in it gave my classmates a chance to learn about me. With me writing one, I also enjoyed giving back feedback on the ones I read as well. For example, I remember reading one about housework and how women shouldn’t be the only ones doing it, men should help too. I like that topic knowing that I could relate to it in my household. I like how the person said that household chores should be equal.

I believe that I brought information as well as my full participation in the research presentation. For the research presentation, my group members and I came up with certain questions so that those can be our topics for the presentation. I came up with gender neutral because in today’s world, men and women wear high heels. You can go down the street and see both women and men wearing it. I knew why women wore it, but I wanted to learn in more depth of why the men wear it. The research I did to learn why wasn’t difficult for me and I learned a lot about it. I really enjoyed finding topics that we each wanted to talk about because I believe we all used as much information as we could to show how much we really learned on our topics. For example, when Rukshona did her part of presentation on the Islam religion, me as well as everyone else learned a lot from that part alone. I also like that our group didn’t have any chaos or disagreements while doing the project, we all came together to give a good presentation. I enjoyed reading and listening to other presentations because each presentation was different from the other. I’m glad that every topic was different and still related to the class because we all learned at least one thing more than we did or didn’t know of that topic.


What is love, where can love be found? What type of love is the best? Just recently, I have learned about the topic of self-love, about what it is, and how to achieve it. Self-love is the state of self-acceptance of one’s worth and the regard of happiness for one’s self. Self-love can be portrayed in many ways such as going out on dates with yourself, practicing positive self-worth affirmations, dressing up on casual days, and/ or finding peace within the things you do for yourself. It involves a great amount of reflection on past mistakes and learning how to accept those mistakes to carry on to the future. The gestures you do for yourself come a long way, they make you realize how much worth you carry within yourself, you start to believe in yourself, and learn to remove what no longer serves you.

During the speech given by Angela Davis in Northern California, Spring 1981, Davis says, “ANYONE WHO’S INTERESTED IN MAKING CHANGE IN THE WORLD, ALSO HAS TO LEARN HOW TO TAKE CARE OF HERSELF, HIMSELF, THEIRSELVES.” The quote itself is very straightforward, self-love and self-care are a form of personal growth and development. Davis’s quote illustrates the importance of practicing self-care because of changes in an individual’s perspective of the world leading to internal and external changes in life. With self-love, you become more confident with yourself, not letting anyone tell you how to live your life, tell you who you are, and who you aren’t. We see this in the documentary, “Pay it No Mind: The Life and Times of Marsha P. Johnson”, Marsha P. who is the protagonist, shares her life as a drag queen, and she makes a huge impact on the world because of her way of expression. She shows how she loves the work that she does and the appreciation she has for herself. This is very empowering because it illustrates how one’s confidence and self-love can reflect on others and also make an impact on other people’s lives. Self-love is like watering a plant because, in the end, the outcome is beautiful and brings joy into others’ lives.

When I was fourteen, I thought I met the love of my life, funny right, I was head-over-heels for this person and after four years they left for someone who they said was “better than me”. During this time I was naive and accepted a lot of their behavior along with all the nasty comments they would direct to me. Beforehand, this was one of the only types of love I was exposed to and the only love I knew of. For months I spent thinking that I was worthless and questioning myself “why was I not enough?”, but now with certainty, I can answer that question and say that I am enough and always have been. What lacked before was the love for myself and the confidence to leave certain situations that I knew were not worth staying for. The time apart from the immature and abusive individual allowed me to grow and heal the remaining scars they’ve left, I felt free to be able to do the things I was never allowed to do in their presence. I look back now and laugh, I know I have accomplished the growth I’ve been waiting for and I am now happier with being on my own.

For those still struggling with loving themselves, I’d like to say it is not an easy process as I also wish it was, but when the journey starts, the road begins to clear up and life begins to brighten up. Love yourself and embrace who you are, you are capable of anything and everything.


Pay it No Mind: The Life and Times of Marsha P. Johnson. (n.d.). Retrieved December 9, 2021.

Self practice – Angela Davis on radical self care. (n.d.). Retrieved December 14, 2021, from

Skin: Beauty or War

For centuries, skin bleaching has been the “it factor”. Skin bleaching is very popular in Nigeria, it is what is trending for both men and women. Many people have different reasons for why they bleach, however it all comes down to society and it’s pressures. Some places, like Nigeria emphasize on being light skin. The lighter tone men and women are always preferred. When watching old Nigerian movies, one can tell how harshly dark skin women were treated. Most women at the time, or even now still feel like being light skin can only help them, whether it’s on the topic of love, work, and being social. 

Skin bleaching is mainly popular in African, Caribbean, and Asian countries.  A 2009 global analyst report showed that the skin bleaching industry was worth $10 billion, rising to $23 billion in 2020. The world health organization also reported that 77% of Nigerian women use skin lightening products regularly, Togo women at 59%, South Africa at 35%, Senegalese women at 27%, and Malian women at 25%. These percentages show how deep skin bleaching is affecting beauty standards. 

Bleaching has become not just a want, but a necessity for some. Nigerian women will rather struggle to look for money to buy bleaching products than money for food. It is an addiction that has taken over the minds of thousands of people, having total control over them. Many people do not see anything wrong in preferring light skin over dark skin, it’s just a norm to some. Some people resort to skin bleaching because of hyperpigmentation, vitiligo, or other skin conditions. However once the situation is taken care of, it is hard for some to stop using the bleaching products. From there, they are hooked on it for life. 

This ideology of light skin being better than dark skin did not just come out of nowhere. The act of colorism dates back to slavery where the dark-skinned slaves had to work outdoor- in the fields. Whereas, the light skinned slaves were indoors, closer to their masters. White people saw light skin slaves superior to dark skin slaves because they were closer to the pale complexion.

  Although it is very popular now, skin bleaching can be traced back to the ancient  Egyptians, and Greeks. These civilizations used honey and olive oil to lighten their skin. The Greeks also used vinegar and white lead. Relating to these, women use ceruse, arsenic wafers or products that contain lead and mercury. These products are extremely poisonous, but people still use them to get a paler look. Now in modern day, there are various skin bleaching agents such as creams, soap, chemical peels, pills, or even laser therapy. 

Although people are made aware of the effects of skin bleaching it is still popular. Skin bleaching can cause life threatening illnesses like kidney failure, lung damage, and increased probability of getting skin cancer. If all of this sounds bad, then why do people still use it till today? 

Some people do not see anything wrong with it because being lighter makes them more desirable to others, it gets them the attention they need. Skin bleaching or colorism isn’t just affecting Africa, it’s worldwide. I remember in middle school there was the light skin VS dark skin period. This mentality also dates back slavery and colonialism. Even till today, some men prefer to only date light- skin women. It is sad that in 2021, people are still experiencing this. In 2020, Netflix released a movie called Skin starring Beverly Naya. The movie focused on colorism and exposed how and why some people bleach their skin. However, the movie in a way condenses the women who bleach. It puts blame, and judges those who bleach, which in a way is ignorant and turns a blind eye on the actual reason people bleach. Not being light skin in Nigeria makes dark skin women handicapped. Not for adults, but it happens among children too. At school, peers call each other ugly because they’re dark skin, making the ideology continue to live on. However, it is not their fault. In a way, those that bleach their skin can be seen as victims. Victims of society and its pressures, they can’t be blamed. Judging those that bleach will not help the problem, but informing them about the effects of bleaching. When how you look is deemed unacceptable or ugly, you almost do not have a choice but to conform to society’s standards. Societal standards have lowered people’s confidence, and ideas for the true meaning of beauty. 


Adamu, N., & Said, A. (2019, March 21). Colonialism and the origins of skin bleaching. Wellcome Collection. Retrieved November 20, 2021, from 

Adamu, N., & Said, A. (2019, March 28). The desire for lighter skin. Wellcome Collection. Retrieved November 20, 2021, from 

Santos-Longhurst, A. (2019, July 22). Skin bleaching products and procedures: Side effects and benefits. Healthline. Retrieved November 20, 2021, from 

Naya, Beverly. Skin. 2019


The perpetual war of being a woman.

            Man, vs woman, white woman vs black woman, rich vs poor, fat vs skinny, modest vs revealing.

All these words highlight the internal battle on what it means to be a woman. More importantly, they emphasize the idea of intersectionality and double standards within femininity.

The fight for equality for women is no longer a sole battle of simply being a woman. Society has constructed an internal war within womanhood on what it means to be equal. Women are no longer simultaneously fighting for equality with men but now against each other. The two-course readings “Excerpt from Feminine Mystique” and “Black Feminist Thought in the Matrix of Domination,” shed light on the inconsistency within femininity and what it means be both powerful and powerless at the same time as a woman. Understanding the effects of intersectionality in feminism is imperative to recognizing the overlapping discrimination and oppression that occurs with being a woman of color, which Patricia Collins reveals in her article. She focuses on the notion of knowledge and the connection to power by emphasizing that race, class, and gender are an interlocking system of oppression.

Society continues to construct this idea of equality by creating a new level of inequality, which is amplified in analyzing intersectionality and double standards within feminism.

You’re too dressed up, you’re too dressed down, look hot, you look like you let yourself go, eat less, men like women with some meat on their bones, plump your lips, look natural, your trying to hard”

Endure the pain.

Don’t complain.

Be nothing. Be less than nothing.

Be a lady they said.

The fight for equality is not limited to just man vs woman, it is also woman vs woman. We turn women against each other through the ideas that are upheld from double standards and forget about those that face overlapping oppression from not only existing as a woman but also for their race. My goal is to show that women continuously live in a spiral of oppression through a closed funnel of inequality. In comparing the “Excerpt from Feminine Mystique” which was written 15 years ago to our society today, the similarity is that no matter what a woman chooses to do they will face oppression. Understanding intersectionality and double standards exist for women emphasize the idea that we must be more aware of the obstacles and inequalities women face.

The Continuous Spiraling of Double Standards through a closed funnel:

The “Excerpt from Feminine Mystique,” shows how women during the time after WWII were nothing but the cherished housewife. It highlights that their sole purpose was to be “perfect wives and mothers,” whose dreams were left to question “Is this all?” This glorified occupation of being a housewife and a stay-at-home mom is now a prime example of the internal battle woman face from double standards. The book “Mommy Wars: Stay at Home and Career Moms face on their choices, their lives, their families,” shows the effects of double standards on women. The continued shame now raises the question of women’s choices: to work or be a stay-at-home mom. The novel presents the two sides of the endless war of for women. The internal battle of women against women is shown through the shaming of one another. However, Leslie Steiner explains that “There is no good reason for working moms to treat stay at home moms like dirt” (Steiner). The oppression of women prevails through the control of individuals who are not women, which is exemplified in the “ongoing debate in the U.S about the benefits of working versus stay-at-home motherhood by experts, that are not women and aren’t even parents”(Steiner). The once glorified occupation of a housewife is now being shamed, yet working mothers are also being questioned.

 Be pure, don’t be so uptight, smile more, wear makeup, men don’t like women who try too hard, save yourself, don’t be a prude, be dirty, be innocent.”

Endure the pain.

Don’t complain.

Be nothing. Be less than nothing.

Be a lady they said.

Intersectionality is like a song that never ends:

The two pieces of literature reveal that no matter what a woman chooses to do she will be shamed yet glorified, questioned but supported and ultimately powerful and powerless at the same time. However, this is when an intersectional framework is needed to point out the effects of not only being a woman, but a woman of color, who will end up facing double oppression. As Kimberly Crenshaw states “We’ve got to be open to looking at all of the ways our systems reproduce these inequalities, and that includes the privileges as well as the harms” (Crenshaw).

Intersectionality in feminism is understanding that a woman of color is experiencing overlapping oppression, which Patricia Collins shows in her article “Black feminist Thought in the Matrix of Domination.” Her focus on knowledge being a vital factor for social change underscores my argument of the importance of intersectionality. Intersectionality within feminism is best explained as “Viewing the world through a both/and conceptual lens of the simultaneity of race, class, and gender oppression and of the need for a humanist vision of community creates new possibilities for an empowering Afrocentric feminist knowledge” (Collins). Understanding the interlocking systems of oppression proves once again proves the correlation to double standards that women face and the perpetual war of inequality.

Man, vs Man/ Woman vs Woman  

Women vs Society

Be a lady they said.




Works Cited

Be a Lady They Said – Girls. Girls. Girls. Magazine – Youtube.

“Excerpt from ‘The Feminine Mystique’.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 5 Feb. 2006,

“Intersectional Feminism: What It Means and Why It Matters Right Now.” UN Women,

Steiner, Leslie Morgan. Mommy Wars: Stay-at-Home and Career Moms Face Off on Their Choices, Their Lives, Their Families. Random House Trade Paperbacks, 2007.

Self Love



  What do you define self love to be ? When you go on social media, do you see any forms of self-love in women? Self-love is defined as regard for one’s own well-being and happiness. When I am on social media, I see women who are appreciating their self time which is a form of self love because they are taking the time out to reflect on themselves. Reflection is important because one can see how they have changed, which could be a good thing. Change brings about growth which brings happiness. You are now in tune with your inner-self and you have a positive mindset. Picture yourself taking a day off to just relax. You are reading a book and you have on your face masks. How did that make you feel? Were you calm and relaxed? If yes, you have just done a form of self-care. This self-care ties into self-love because you are taking time to love yourself with no distractions. You are able to take a breath and just relax. 

     In the documentary “Pay it No Mind: The Life and Times of Marsha P. Johnson”, Marsha P. Johnson’s form of self-love was her being a drag queen. She dressed up in her fancy outfits who made her unique while making thousands of people laugh at the shows. It made her happy to see her put a smile on others faces. She has also made progress in this world by herself because her showing her true self made others show their true selves as well. It’s like she made them fall in love with themselves over again. Marsha P.Johnson had a positive outlook on life and that happened because of the self- love she had for herself. Yes, people would be cruel and call her names for that matter but what did she do? She continued to be amazing. To accept self- love, you have to let go of what people think of you whether it’s good or bad, don’t compare yourself to others, trust in yourself when it comes to decision making, etc. Once you do these things, you’re on the right journey to self-love. If someone tells you something about you that hurts your feelings, turn it into a positive statement. If you find yourself comparing yourself to other people, think about how wonderful you are. If you have a hard time making a decision, just trust that the decision you make is one that will be a positive outlook for you. 

    There was one day I decided to have a self-care day. I put my phone down and watched the show I was binge watching at the time. The whole day I went without texting my friends or going on social media. The night came and I did my skincare routine and I felt so relaxed. For me, that was my form of self-love because I tuned out  all distractions to focus on me. I was happy I did so because I got to reflect on myself and while I was reflecting, I noticed that I am someone that always wanted things to be done how I want them to but I came to the conclusion that it’s not possible. I have to wait my turn for when things happen in my life and not rush it. I say this because there was in time I would see all these relationships on social media and I wanted it to be me so badly. I wanted that to be me the same time it was for everyone else. I had to sit back and think “their timing right now,  doesn’t mean it’s yours”. I had to focus on loving myself more because how can I want a relationship with love without loving myself first ? Self-love always starts within yourself is what I’ve learned from this experience. My mom also told me to pray for things that I want to happen and she taught me that God will make it happen when my time is ready for it. This for me was progress and a change I saw happening for myself.

    I hope from this you take that self-love is important for us women because it allows us to bring in the new us. We have to want to do this for ourselves so we can stay connected and not feel like the world is caving in on us.