What is love, where can love be found? What type of love is the best? Just recently, I have learned about the topic of self-love, about what it is, and how to achieve it. Self-love is the state of self-acceptance of one’s worth and the regard of happiness for one’s self. Self-love can be portrayed in many ways such as going out on dates with yourself, practicing positive self-worth affirmations, dressing up on casual days, and/ or finding peace within the things you do for yourself. It involves a great amount of reflection on past mistakes and learning how to accept those mistakes to carry on to the future. The gestures you do for yourself come a long way, they make you realize how much worth you carry within yourself, you start to believe in yourself, and learn to remove what no longer serves you.

During the speech given by Angela Davis in Northern California, Spring 1981, Davis says, “ANYONE WHO’S INTERESTED IN MAKING CHANGE IN THE WORLD, ALSO HAS TO LEARN HOW TO TAKE CARE OF HERSELF, HIMSELF, THEIRSELVES.” The quote itself is very straightforward, self-love and self-care are a form of personal growth and development. Davis’s quote illustrates the importance of practicing self-care because of changes in an individual’s perspective of the world leading to internal and external changes in life. With self-love, you become more confident with yourself, not letting anyone tell you how to live your life, tell you who you are, and who you aren’t. We see this in the documentary, “Pay it No Mind: The Life and Times of Marsha P. Johnson”, Marsha P. who is the protagonist, shares her life as a drag queen, and she makes a huge impact on the world because of her way of expression. She shows how she loves the work that she does and the appreciation she has for herself. This is very empowering because it illustrates how one’s confidence and self-love can reflect on others and also make an impact on other people’s lives. Self-love is like watering a plant because, in the end, the outcome is beautiful and brings joy into others’ lives.

When I was fourteen, I thought I met the love of my life, funny right, I was head-over-heels for this person and after four years they left for someone who they said was “better than me”. During this time I was naive and accepted a lot of their behavior along with all the nasty comments they would direct to me. Beforehand, this was one of the only types of love I was exposed to and the only love I knew of. For months I spent thinking that I was worthless and questioning myself “why was I not enough?”, but now with certainty, I can answer that question and say that I am enough and always have been. What lacked before was the love for myself and the confidence to leave certain situations that I knew were not worth staying for. The time apart from the immature and abusive individual allowed me to grow and heal the remaining scars they’ve left, I felt free to be able to do the things I was never allowed to do in their presence. I look back now and laugh, I know I have accomplished the growth I’ve been waiting for and I am now happier with being on my own.

For those still struggling with loving themselves, I’d like to say it is not an easy process as I also wish it was, but when the journey starts, the road begins to clear up and life begins to brighten up. Love yourself and embrace who you are, you are capable of anything and everything.

WORK CITE

Pay it No Mind: The Life and Times of Marsha P. Johnson. (n.d.). Retrieved December 9, 2021.

Self practice – Angela Davis on radical self care. (n.d.). Retrieved December 14, 2021, from https://www.selfpractice.com.au/self-practice/angela-davis-on-radical-self-care

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